the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
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