dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
