we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
