i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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