I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
