We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
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