It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
