I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
