careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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