But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
