Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
