oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
