Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
