Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize