Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
