Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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