Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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