I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
