I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
