Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
