oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
