There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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