and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
