whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
