Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
