no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Randomize
