Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Screwed.edu
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I think I just sharted jello shots
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
