it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
