First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
