I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
