So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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