He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
