She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
