i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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