so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
