My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
