What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
