apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
what day is it and did you see me today?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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