best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
