She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Also, beer. Big fan.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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