He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
