how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Holy sore nipples Batman
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
