vagina is talking i cant
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
