Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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