Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
