I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
zippers are such a cool invention
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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