Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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