And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize