We're like a lot better than the average bears
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
