my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
