Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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