...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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