I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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