So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
