I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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