His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You are the jesus of drinking
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
